why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
