so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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