I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
