I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
