I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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