david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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