these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
