White coat. Heels.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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