omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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