I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
