once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
