I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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