i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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