Please, let me fuck your mom
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
