No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
