i will never coherently bang her
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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