Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i believe in u and ur pee
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