I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
