After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
