You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
