I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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