Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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