Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
