hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
