I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
