Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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