Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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