did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
