The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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