I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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