if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You don't make any sense
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