no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
