U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
