I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
