Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude i'm inner monologue high
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Even the bartender felt bad for me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
