You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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