i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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