he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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