My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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