The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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