he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
