I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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