we have pet lesbian snakes
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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