You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
