I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
