So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
