I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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