He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
