Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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