she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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