I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
