Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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