Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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