You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
