youre lurking in front of me
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
