So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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